Posted by Farheen Hussain, Guwahati, Assam
Wordsworth wrote in his Preface to Lyrical Ballads ‘poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquillity…’
I have been contemplating penning down my thoughts and remembered what the great poet had to say about poetry which is applicable to prose too. I had an overflow of emotions but tranquility has been something that has been lost ever since the pandemic decided to stay on longer than anticipated.
The past two years have been tough for everyone with the virus consuming many near and dear ones across the globe. I haven’t been an exception.
It all began with the announcement of the country-wide lockdown. I was here, at Guwahati, Assam with my 10 years old daughter and my husband stationed far away at Aizawl, Mizoram. The spike in death rate and uncertainty in medical breakthrough sent shivers down my spine.
I panicked endlessly, lest any of us was infected by the virus. We wouldn’t even get a chance to see each other. I persuaded my husband to seek special permission to travel cross-border and that sort of gave me a solace that at least we could die together if at all we were destined to.
In the meantime, my husband also decided to move base as the scarcity of food in the hill state was taking a toll on his health.
It was June, he was finally back with us and the next five months were the best time of our lives. Although we were confined indoors, we did not seem to mind anything. My husband decided to start a Youtube channel on Spoken English catering to the local community. It was a collaborative effort, I would shoot the video, my daughter would edit and my husband would present it. We felt happy endlessly and thanked the Almighty to have kept us together and nothing else mattered.
Time lapsed in happy times and the total lockdown was gradually receding. We were eventually moving out with necessary precautions and went out on a day long trip to Pobitora.
When everything was going good, how could we expect that fate had something else in store for us. On 6th of November 2020, hell broke loose for me and my daughter when we received the horrific tidings that my husband had succumbed instantaneously when he came under a ten-wheeler.
My world crumbled, I was fortunate to have been surrounded by friends, colleagues and relatives at that moment of peril. All the rites and rituals were performed smoothly and the flow of well wishers overwhelmed me.
Then came the moment of truth, where the battle ahead of me was to be fought by me and my little daughter who was still in disbelief that she wouldn’t ever see her ‘best friend’, her father ever again.
Things ever since have not been easy for me, being alone, I had my job to attend to, all the official formalities, insurance settlements, MACT(Motor Accident Claim Tribunal) case and an endless list of chores to look into.
It has been almost nine months since my husband left. With the second wave lockdown, the offices continue to remain shut. Work that was progressing at snail’s pace has come to a total standstill for me. The court case is pending, insurance claims have not been issued till date.
I know, tough times lay ahead, Covid may not have directly affected me but it has somehow managed to devour my ‘happy world.’ Times are uncertain and so is my future. Sometimes, I wonder, will I or people around me ever get to see a better world and life again. Will we be able to combat the virus and start life normally once again? There are many more questions that keep haunting me.
How I wish the Pandemic never happened! Our lives would have been different.
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Story Images: Author
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Farheen , my thoughts are with you and your daughter. You have been so brave .
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Farheen aunty this is Shayan. I felt really evoked after reading this powerful article penned down by you. Lots of good wishes to you and Kaynath. She could call me up anytime she wants. It must have been so hard on her yet im sure shes pulling through bravely. Take care
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